When I got back from Physics lab tonight at about 9:15 or so, I decided that it was time for me take a night off. I had planned on having Sunday off this weekend, but circumstances changing as they often do, that didn't happen. I feel that it's healthy for me to get a little down time to just sit and think about everything go instead of the eat-sleep-do schoolwork-physical activity-socialize cycle that makes up almost all of life. I'm thankful for all the opportunities the Lord has given me but sometimes I think I try to do too much. This leaves me exahsuated but it's almost like I don't know how else to operate. I always want to do more and when I'm not doing more for an extended period I feel like I'm just being lazy. This probably isn't the case but it's just tough for me to see the line between lazy and overload I guess....Anyway, today went pretty well. I had my first ever mach-date sort of thing today (just goin to chapel), which really wasn't a date but more of just a fun wing event deal. I sort of like the girl that I asked, but I on't really know whether she likes me or not. I figure just forming a good friendship as brother and sister in Christ should come first and foremost. Perhaps by God's grace, I'm not really at a wanting-to-get-married-before-anything-else-happens stage in my life. I kind of would just like a good friend that I can encourage and can encourage me in Christ right now. Maybe a relationship and eventually marriage will branch out of that but I don't see any rush. I got plenty to think about as it is, and even if I didn't it's in God's time......Tonight's one of those nights when I feel like I won't possibly have the strength to get up and make it throuh the day Lordwilling tommorow. I know it's only by God's grace that I do. Just keep pluggin away. I try not to be bothered by the little things in life, but just focus on Christ and keep on a pushin'. He'll give me life and breath as long as He wants me here so I have nothin to worry about......Oh goodness, so we got preparation for the MCAT, tryin to keep up and stay motivated with school, wondering what I'm gonna be doin in life once I get outta here, wonderin whether or not now is the time I should be tryin to get a future wife, wonderin whether or not my past decisions were the best ones, wanting to be an encouragement to others in Christ and not a distraction, trying to get a decent amount of sleep, wonderin if I'll get into med. school, and if I don't wonderin what I should do then, wonderin if I'm bein too boisterous or too shy.....But you know what, this list of worries should really be my prayer list. If I prayed half as much as I complained and worried about everything, I'm sure I'd be a lot more encouraged in Christ.....This isn't sayin that I have too much on my plate. It's just sayin that I need to be more prayerful and trusting of the Lord so that I stop despairing and start livin content in Christ. This world is such a mad jumbling of temporary joy and frequent sadness. I can't know what the future looks like, but I know that trusting in Christ is the only way to keep me from worrying about it. I pray that He helps me do this......Good-night.
Hopeful in Christ, Josh
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