The Lord knows what we need and when we need it...

I feel like this semester has been perhaps the most challenging of college in a variety of ways. Emotionally, spiritually, and physically, I've felt pushed to the limit quite frequently. I started the semester with high hopes about a girl that I had taken interest in and expressed mutual interest towards me. We were just at the point of setting up a time for lunch when I inadvertently mentioned the fact that I didn't have a car. Since e-mail is an emotional blank slate, I have no way of knowing what caused her to turn me down, but my guess would be that not having a car was a major factor. I was disheartened by this, which drove me to start working out, using the best hygiene I could, and working even harder at school. I decided that exhausting myself with good, benificial things was the best way to numb the disappointment. It has worked pretty well most of this semester, but at times things have seemed a little overbearing. I've had a hard time keeping conversation going because most of the time my brain is so filled with school stuff that I feel pretty emotionally stale. This has caused me to raise the question "What is the best way to honor God with our lives?" quite frequently. Academics have gone pretty well this semester but I've had a much tougher time being involved in other people's lives and not getting bitter at having to be a chronic workhorse. I understand the magnitude and importance of maximing educational performance, especially at the steep cost, but I have a hard time rationalizing "overdoing" it. I've been "overdoing" this semester, because I feel that it's neccesary at this time, but I have no desire or interest to immerse my being in the world of medicine to the point that I forget the magnificence and glory of our Creator. Conversely, I want to make sure that I'm giving a full effort at whatever I do in order to honor and glorify the Lord through it. There seems to be a delicate balance between busy body and lazy bum. My personality tends toward the busy, hard-working side because that's how I've grown up, but I'll be the first to admit that I frequently overdo it. With good intentions but not always wise ones. I come off as being self-centered but have no desire to be. I do poorly with school unless I directly focus my mental energy towards it and I soon as I enjoy keeping company with others, my grades suffer. This semester, trying to focus intently on school has helped me gradewise but I feel very empty socially. Which again leads me to raise the question, "What i the best way to honor God with our lives?" The only answer that I'm led to believe is that God places all of us in different circumstances for His purposes at different times and in different places. It's not up to us to complain about what we should be doing. Rather, we should ask for God's wisdom and direction when we feel overworked or that life is mundane. He knows what we need and when we need it....

Lord bless,

Josh