Despite life's twists and turns, God is always there...

It's been very nice to relax for the two and a half weeks that I've been home. I've gotten to watch some movies with the family, take two trips to where we used to live in MN, run a Half Marathon, lots of good stuff. I'm very glad for this break because it's been and will be one of the more extensive breaks I've had in the last two years. It's also a good time for reevaluation of where I'm at spiritually. I feel like I've struggled more lately to remember why I am on this earth. I feel like I'm just going through the motions of life, drifiting in the monotony of distractions. I'm trying to remember that the Lord is still right here with me no matter where He places me in life. I'm also trying to remember that Christianity is neither a show of theological understanding or just being a nice person who is hospitable to people. It's a life that is lived out by trusting in God, reading His Word and praying, and just desiring to live on this earth for His purposes. I feel like sometimes I just struggle with wanting to be nice and helpful to other people but forget that I should be doing it for God's glory. It's not enough to just do good if it's not done for God's glory. I pray that He'll grant me the grace to connect these two. I feel like, ever since I transferred from Master's, I've had to look at life from a broader perspective. This isn't a negative because it's just given me a better picture of what the rest of the world is like. As long as God gives me life I pray that He can use me as a beacon for Him to this fallen and confused world. Apart from His grace I would be ignorantly drowning in the same vanity. It's a daily battle that's impossible for me to win without His neccesary intervention. So I guess the biggest thing I'm learning is that I just need to turn to Him for strength and wisdom. I won't survive this world's sinful attacks otherwise. I pray that He gives all of us as His children the strength to stand for Him as the days worsen.

In Christ, Josh

Thoughts on life...

Well, I am very thankful to be done with finals! Since I didn't know when my last final would be during all the beginning of the semester chaos, I'm not actually heading home until Wednsday afternoon. I hope to use this time at least somewhat productively.... I've been thinking a lot more about life again these last few days. My heart aches at all the sin and corruption in this world but rejoices to know that the Lord is real and He will protect His children. My heart also delights to know that He will provide in the best way academically. Anyway, not really in the writing mood right now but hopefully I can write some more later.

In Him, Josh

Finals week approaches...

For some reason I've been having a very difficult time not being severely worried about this finals week at Baylor. I should be fine with passing all of my classes but I just still feel very worried. My GPA could be anywhere from 2.8 to 3.45 depending on how my finals go. One of my classes the final is worth 50% and for another it is worth 25% of the grade. I had to take pressure finals at Master's too but for some reason my O-Chem finals at River Falls and the finals I'm taking here at Baylor have me more worried. I guess I feel like since the class sizes are bigger and I'm more anonymous the professor's won't be nearly as willing to curve class scores. Here I feel like, no matter how hard the test, there will always be a good 10% or so that still ace it. This is great for those students but, for pre-med requirement class at least, I tend to be between the class average and those genius people. And this semester has really been a "get your feet wet" semester for me. I'm not complaining but it did take a little bit of shifting to get used to everything here. Even now I don't feel totally in the mix yet. I'm greatly anticipating the fall Lordwilling because then I can plan everything out, bring more stuff, maybe a longboard/skateboard, and just be ready. However, the Lord worked this whole thing out awesomely and no complaints. All just to say that this semester has been a challenge but the future, for the fall semester, looks bright. The summer looks bright as well! I'm so excited to have a break from school for a while. Really I haven't had more than a month or so block off since Summer 2007, about two years, because I took OChem summer classes last year. Maybe for most people that wouldn't be tough but I like to be out and about meeting and working with people so for me it is. Anyway, I'm definitely doing my best. Only finals to go!!! May the Lord's strength despite my weakness show in this finals week!!!

For His glory, Josh