Lord, please save me from myself...And please help me to be thankful and joyful...

I've really been struggling lately with two seemingly seperate but somewhat coinciding aspects of my life. First, I've been struggling with doubting God and the reality of the Christian faith. I don't know exactly what has caused this but I know that one troublesome thought for me is how Christian people, including myself, can be saved by God's grace but still struggle mightily and at times give in to the wretched wickedness of sin. Then I feel down because in my World Religions class I see parallels between Christianity and other religions and it throws my mind and thinking into fits. It makes me wonder what makes Christianity different? I then read God's Word and study Physiology and see God's power and rule over everything and feel that my joy and praise is stunted by my doubt.....I fell like I don't really understand what the role of Christians on this earth are...At first, I took the view of isolating from other Christians if they didn't seem to be truly desiring God's purposes for their lives or if they seemed to take the Christian life casually.. Then I took the view that I am still accountable as a Christian to be involved in the lives of other Christians and hold them accountable to God's Word, which is a big reason that I decided to return to Master's this year. But now I feel that I am having trouble discerning what is from God's Word and what is from my own thinking. Other professing Christians seem to have little or no problem doing things that would typically bother me so I don't know whether these are standards I have made up for myself over the years or if they are truly from God's Word. I'd like to take the time to get into God's Word and discover these truths but I normally only read briefly and from different parts of the Bible, not really a directed study. So maybe I should try to make more time to do a directed study of a book of the Bible.......Second, I've been struggling with guilt in almost every aspect of my life. It's gotten so bad that I dare not look at previous tests for fear of finding a grading mistake, or papers for fear of finding a citation error and having my conscience throw all sorts of mixed signals into my head till I feel like begging for mercy. I don't know what the deal is there either. I've always struggled with having an incredibly accusing conscience and it's gotten worse since I've been in college. Maybe this guilt has caused some of my doubt and sadness. I know that we are meant to live joyfully and thankfully as Christians, but just when I'm about to relax and be thankful for a break or look back on a great blessing from the Lord in my life, guilt/my conscience hammers me for some/any ridiculous reason to keep me from enjoying life as one of God's children....I'm not in school because I like learning facts for no purpose. I want my education to make me thankful for God's creation and for His presence in my life, not something that makes me feel irrepresible guilt for no reason. I desire to be honest to please the Lord, not so that I feel satisfied and content with myself.....I know that's a lot but, if anyone reads this, I'd appreciate your prayers. I know that in the end it will all work out and the Lord will deliver me from this fleshly body into eternity with Him, but that doesn't mean that there will never be struggles in this life. Lord, please understand that I am so wicked and ignorant apart from your grace. I'm so thankful for all of your working not only in my life but for every believer. My soul knows that you are my Creator and that you have graciously chosen me as one of your children, but my flesh rips at me and tries to deny Your existence. I know that you will deliver me from this just like you've delivered me from every other obstacle in the past. May You be honored and glorified forever! Please save me from myself and may your plans and purposes be accomplished for all eternity! Help me to trust Lord, Help me trust.....

Knowing that trials are meant for God's glory and my good unto His praise and glory!, Josh