School's back in swing again....

I haven't written on this thing for quite a while and I sort of feel like I should write tonight. Just for update sake, by God's grace I was able to pass OChem II as well. Now I'm beginning to look at med schools and stuff....after playing ultimate frisbee that's what I've done for a little while tonight. I was sort of bummin about things tonight and providentially I came across this very encouraging song by Sara Groves called "What I thought I wanted". It just speaks of God's soverignty and plan in everything. Such a great encouragement...may God bless her and her family for her music that has been such a great encouragement to me, especially in hard times....The Lord always makes provision. I just miss it sometimes when I'm blinded and confused in the foolishness and traffic of life...I also feel like I've had a sort of emotional void lately. Looking for affection and love from the female gender. I'm sure that this is a healthy and normal desire but I don't want it to lead me into sin.....I just feel so weak and strengthless at times. Like It'd be best for me to just lay down and die sometimes....But, I must remember that His grace is sufficient....I remember, especially towards the end of OChem II how zapped of strength I felt. But God provided me with enough mental stamina and energy to get through the course....I am completely serious when I say my strength comes from Christ...There's no way in this world I could've mustered up the strength to make it on my own in college or life in general apart from His grace......I'm sure some of it has to do with past stuff, but God has been so very very good to me in working through those things and using me for His glory.....I think that the devil's ploy at times is to make me feel undeserving of God's grace and condemned for this reason. However, the opposite is true. Yes, I am undeserving but again God's grace is sufficient. Why He chose me I'll never know (maybe when I get to heaven), but as a Christian my desire should constantly be to praise the Lord in thanks and honor Him for this!!!......I guess I'll wind down for writing tonight, I'll try to keep this updated periodically though.

In Him, Josh Gilbert